Wife and I have been married for just under 45 years. We’ve both been faithful to each other, and to the Lord. That sounds like an accomplishment to some. It is. But it is what I would call a normal accomplishment rather than something seemingly heroic. And it is an accomplishment to be maintained.
Men: Temptation will come your way. Interestingly, it seems to come more frequently after 50 than before 50. We’ve all seen otherwise Godly men fail and fall, and they are, more often than not, not young men.
After age 50, when your confidence is highest and you are most secure, that’s when many women take notice. They wanted this in their men when they were in their 20s and 30s but never saw it. That’s normal. A man’s confidence generally develops later in life. And if there are other issues at play, they won’t see it in their husbands. But they may well see it, even look for it, elsewhere.
Ladies: You may be wondering what your man did to get himself in such a position. I suspect most of you spend your time with mature and self-controlled women. You would never put yourself in such a position and don’t approach life from the framework of those who are not so defined. That’s a secure place to be. The world outside of the church, the world where your husband interacts likely more than you, is not like that.
There are many women who are lonely, in bad or from broken marriages, or who have serious daddy issues. They’re in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, and they’re giving their attention to men in the late 40s, 50s, and 60s. Even to men in their 70s. These women don’t throw themselves at men. But they do know how to manage men. That’s where the problem comes in.
Your husband bears another burden: Does he tell you about her flirtation? It’s pretty common that he can’t. Why? Because you’ll blame him for her actions. She is the problem. He is not the problem. He only wants to safely confide in the one he loves and trusts. But quite often he can’t. It’s not a perceived safe environment for him. He has no desire to be shamed for a wrong that someone else committed.
Conclusion: Mutual understanding is as imperative as trust.